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Blonde Jokes

How can you tell if a blonde is a redneck?

Blonde, Redneck, Adult, Sex
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a redneck?

A: If she can chew tobacco and suck dick at the
same time and still know which one to spit out.

What's the difference between a blond and a Mosquito?

blonde, blowjobs, sex, adult
Q: What's the difference between a blond and a mosquito?

A: The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

A Blonde Riding a Horse

blonde, walmart, horse
A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback
riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt,
and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She
is having fun, and d ...(read more)

Magic Mirror

redhead, brunette, blonde, bar
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the ...(read more)

A blonde's mother passes away

blonde, death, mother
Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a p ...(read more)

A blonde eating pizza

blonde, pizza
A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

A blonde caught speeding

blonde, police, driving
A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The ...(read more)

A blonde cop and a blonde driver

blonde, police, driving
A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The ...(read more)

A blonde and a dead bird

blonde, brunette, animals
One day a blonde and a brunette were walking down to the grocery store when the brunette pointed out to the blonde "oh, hey look at that dead bird.."

The blonde looks around around up in the sky fo ...(read more)

A blonde's game of intelligence

blonde, lawyer, money
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to ...(read more)

You've got mail!

blonde, computers
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. ...(read more)

A blonde's horrific accident

blonde, police, accident
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
...(read more)

A Blonde Standing in the Circle

blonde, car
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets ...(read more)

A Blonde and Test Tickles

blonde, testicles, toys
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job be ...(read more)

Blonde Logic

blonde
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excit ...(read more)

First Class Blonde

blonde, airplanes
A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs ...(read more)

A Blonde at a Coke Machine

blonde, gambling
This blonde was at a coke machine and and put her change in and mashed a button and out comes a drink. So she puts some more change in and pushed another button and out comes a drink.

She keeps put ...(read more)

A Blonde and a Ventriloquist

blonde, ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in ...(read more)

Blonde paint job

blonde
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if ...(read more)